Saturday, January 07, 2006

Menopause Poem

I took the journey of menopause
I had to go it alone
my spirit was seeking too
for now it was time to be grown
a journey a mystery a loss of my life
as it was familiar to me
I seemed to have abandoned everything and everyone dear to me
my life was most unusual others homes became my abode
my children ever so dear to me were scattered outside my throne
there were days when I cried and felt empty inside
and I asked God what has happened to me
and then there were days when joy was all I knew as I struggled and lived my life

menopause your timing seemed not the best for advancing the state of my God
however, I've learned on this road that I trod to know a greater God-dess inside
menopause I celebrate you and I honor our simultaneity for you've taught me love as appreciation for myself and others on the journey with me
menopause I applaud you for you've given new definition to my God
now my life is so rich and ever so full indeed
I have more gifts inside to unfold

This poem represents my experience with menopause. What's your story? Of course, if you choose to share, it doesn't have to be in poetic form. That just happens to be my way of best expression. I'd like to hear from you.

Here are a few suggestive thoughts: Where are you on your menopausal journey? What's happening in your life as a result of menopause? How do you feel about the experience? What do you think about the experience? What benefits have you birthed? Feel free to express yourself as you wish.

22 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How wonderful. Let's get this going again. I do not need to reinvent the wheel. How can we collaborate on this.

Menopause for me was living in a strange body. My spirit was an outside observer unable to assist, knowing something huge was happening, but unable to put my finger, my brain, my emotions on it. I stumbled and actually became CRAZY, a mystery to everyone, even myself. I have no idea how long the journey took for I had no measuring tools, no guideposts, no one to turn to for solice. I now know others looked on feeling helpless as I twirled and lurched toward full womanhood.
(to be continued)

7:26 AM  
Anonymous Synolve Craft said...

I have not yet arrived at menopause. I have suffered with severe cramps and ridiculously heavy "flow" for most of my life, although the cramps have begun to slow significantly in last 5 years. For most of my life, menopause has not been seen as a negative to me but rather as a wonderful friend that I longed to meet.

10:06 AM  
Blogger thefutureofliterature said...

from "Disintegrating into Float"

Somebody ought to warn women about turning 40— and the men who love them to death. Women do receive warnings about life after 40, but these warnings are usually only about what you will lose....We may not have heard about what we could gain.

Thirty-eight was useful, like getting hit by a bus and having a near-death experience. You can see the light, and you may feel an urge to move toward it. You may hear voices from Beyond trying to tell you something really large, something so large your tiny existence can’t embrace it. If only you could step inside of the knowledge delivered by those feathery voices, you would gladly release your present life and float on. But you can't. You are corporeal. You are a body of histories deep-sixed by a lump of leaden lies....

At 39, I carried the undeciphered mutterings of the angels in my ears. At 40, my body had begun to disintegrate. I felt light. My bones were hollowing out. I was too heavy to fly, but I could float.

opal moore

11:29 AM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

We welcome your thoughts, experiences, writings of your own or others, poems of your own or others. Feel the freedom and courage of sharing around this incredibly empower stage of life.

Adanna

3:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Menopause for me was and has been just another step on my path to personal perfection. It happened roughly seven years ago. My period skipped a month, showed up for one last time and that was all she wrote.

I know that the menopause experience can be very traumatic for women who are not prepared for the change of life. I exercised, ate well, and was already on a journal to self actualization and realization when that cycle of life ended for me. I haven't had a true hot flash, nor any recognizable mood swings. I've gained a little weight but I keep that at bay with Belly Dance, Pilates, Yoga, and Zumba. I love to dance so it works for me. Since I am well versed in aromatherapy and many other natural health modalities, I know Tthere are many natural remedies to help with the hormonal changes that accompany the phase of life. I use some of these fairly routinely. They must be of help because for the most part the change of life has not really felt much different from other phases of life.

To me, menopause is simply another transtion to help us grown stronger and more beautiful as we focus on remembering and strengthening our womanly power.

8:20 PM  
Blogger Lisa Morris said...

I had an emergency hysterectomy at age 33 due to endometriosis and two golf ball size cists that had formed on each of my ovaries. I started experiencing pre menapausal sympstoms soon after my hysterectomy. the hot flashes were the worst of the experience and taking female hormones only made me less patient and more tempersome and uneasy at times. I am now 38 years old and still have hot flashes from time to time. What I am thankful about is that I have went through full menapause accorinding to my GYN, however, I have had carcenoma cells form vaginally that were removed two years ago and during my recent PAP smear, although normal, they found Granulosis which can also carry carcinoma cells and per my GYN can sometimes form in women following a hysterectomy. I am scheduled to have the Granulosis tissue removed a week from today. Having a hysterectomy did not alter my sex life. Actually I felt more of a sex drive following the hysterectomy which is normal for most women. Although I do not take female hormones in pill form I now use the progestrine vaginal insert cream which has really been beneficial for the dryness that I was experiencing during intercourse. What a life saver! You only have to use the cream twice a week if you are like me and did not take well to oral hormone therapy. ~Lisa, Florida

11:35 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I like your approach of using poetry to introduce your experience. It's not clinical and expresses your insight. Will you post a new poem each week?

9:28 AM  
Blogger Ndidi said...

I experienced ups and downs. I literally "dripped" sweat all over a client's desk once after a particularly severe hot flash! He and I laughed heartily about it. I learned after several years to minimize sugar and caffeine from my diet to mimimize the hot flashes; those deletions still have benefits for me. I remember being relieved that the menstrual periods were gone, even though I had minimal problems with cramps and flow.

Eleanor

8:24 AM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

And now, Henrietta, we are elders, post menopausal, having survived the whirlwind of transformation. Now, we see with new eyes, feel with a new heart and act with a clear mind. Now our Spirit knows that we are human beings and now we dance gracefully with that knowing. Now we are wise women, the elders of our community.

Thank you for being the first entrant, November 2008. And I note your comment, to be continued. We await your next post.

11:43 PM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

Synolve, thank you for your post which reminds me of my menstrual cycle, the monthly cramps at such a young and tender age of 10.5. Not even aware of what was going on with my body. Then I was just as unaware with when perimenopause caught me off guard. Knowing that I was feeling different, mood swings, yet not knowing what to do. I was simply unaware of the power in my body calling me to live life from a place of truth; and in this place I birthed the gift of poetry.

11:52 PM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

Opal, your post reminds me of three poems I’ve written titled, “Dancing with God”, “Clutter: It’s Time to Grow” and “Old Baggage”.

The first is an epic poem, a story that was actually a dream where I was standing on a precipice and that “feathery voice” that you speak of beckoned me to fly. However, the weights of my life, the clutter and old baggage that I wore, like old overcoats handed to me over the years, not taking them off when they didn’t fit or match or I didn’t like it any more.

Instead, I interpreted some authority figure, not necessarily an adult or person, as saying “Wear this coat until you die.”, I obeyed even after becoming an adult. (Or did I become an adult?) I sat on the precipice weigh-laden by fear that manifested as sadness.

Nobody told me that I didn’t have to wear those overcoats, that I had a choice; nobody told me that I was the only one to acknowledge my feelings and then act on them wisely; nobody told me that I carried habits, personal histories, circumstances and experiences as Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith speaks of in his book, “Forty Day Mind Fast Soul Feast”, that were restrictive to my transformation; nobody told me, I was just supposed to know because my feelings told me so. I imprisoned myself by not attending to my feelings and trusting the “feathery voice” within.

And with all that experience you so eloquently and artfully write about in “Disintegrating into Float” (excerpt), if we don’t learn to consistently acknowledge that voice from beyond, that feathery voice, then menopause will set us free and make us crazy, different than we were, changed for the better.

1:13 AM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

Thank you, Opal!

1:14 AM  
Blogger thefutureofliterature said...

I like the idea, and perhaps the reality, of veils lifting at certain places in our lives. Nikki Finney called it "The Ringing Ear" (which titles the CC anthology). Her image captures the ear as our necessary organ, an inner listening, a ringing up. It must be like an alarm clock that starts ringing when we're asleep. We hear it in our dreams until we awaken. Adanna, you've connected women's self discovery to the end of reproduction. I'm told that witches, or the crone figures of old, were conceived as fearful because they were post menopausal women who had come into their full powers. Good to remember!

12:50 PM  
Blogger Valerie Love said...

Have not had the menopause experience yet.

I affirm: my maturation proceeds easily, divinely, gracefully, comfortably and beautifully! And so it is!

6:28 PM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

Greetings, Anonymous!

Thank you for your post. I was one of those women not prepared to meet the journey of menopause. My unpreparedness stemmed from unresolved emotional issues primarily not knowing how to express my emotions from an honest place. I grew up afraid to show anger and scared. They were primarily masked as sadness. In finding private space to read and write, I learned to hide those feelings in my thoughtful musings.

And yet in those quiet isolated places I honed for myself, the treasury of my practice in reading and writing opened the way for the birth of the poet's voice in pre-menopause. That voice carried and anchored my connection to life as I took bold steps into new worlds of stage performances and publishing. As I accepted being called a poet, a performer, and an artist.

I was told for the first time, "You are beautiful." Those words were foreign to my ears as I said, "Thank you!". I was asked, "Where did you get your training." I'd reply, "From church saying, easter and christmas speeches and being taught in leadershp roles as a child and youth."

Menopause dared me not to stand for myself as I evolved with the strength and courage to uncover unresolved issues and bring closure and win-win, to confront them (no matter how old they were); to become aware and conscious of their repetitive presence in my daily life and simply choose to resolve those experiences differently than I had before. It was not about is this right or wrong or the best way; it was about just taking some different action than I did in my past; to feel and to act on that feeling.

I believe women who are able to sail through menopause without the trauma, without a glitch are the ones who were the mavericks or warriors who have known who they are and always have challenged authorities (figures, institutions, rules, etc.) and knew how to value and love themselves first. They are women who are in touch with their feelings and have exercised wisdom in caring for themselves. I believe.

Thank you, anonymous for stimulating me to open up and release a story that I carried in my life force. I release it!

3:11 AM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

Wow,Lisa, you are really challenging me to become more honest than I wish to express in writing and on a blog. I release that fear, anger and sadness with ease because I have forgiven myself.

Here goes, I too had a hysterectomy at the age of 39 years old. For about 3-4 years, I suffered extreme cramps which had disappeared from my life with the birth of my children. The cramps worsened over time as the symptoms made it difficult for me to get out of bed each morning and go to work. As I walked, my legs felt like they weighed a ton. I soon found myself wearing house slippers or an extremely soft flat shoe that did not add to the weight I felt in my legs. I did everything I could to avoid surgery for several years in spite of this monthly recurrence of cramps three weeks out of the month with only a two-three day menses, a regular flow, not heavy. Unfortunately, at the time I was not fortunate enough to be aware of wholistic medicine. Finally I succumbed to surgery and had a hysterectomy, removal of the uterus. I understand that a salpingooophorectomy is the removal of the uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries.

I now understand this experience from a metaphysical perspective symbolic of another level of my journey to self love. That's another story!

Thank you, my young sister, for reminding me of that experience.

3:59 AM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

DJ... how insightful you are and your message fills me with encouragement. No matter how much encouragement I receive, I always seem to need more.

I know for sure the next blog will be a poem. My internal navigator leads me through each participant on this blog as to the what comes next. I am excited about the journey. And thank you for travelling with us and for your profound post.

4:08 AM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

Ndidi,

Your post brings to mind the term, "process". A mantra of a former acquaintance is, "Trust the process."

Things, events, stages, life, experiences, circumstances, death, birth, pain, suffering, all unfold through a process and inherent in the process is humor. And it is that humor that balances our sanity, creates the miracle and awakens our truth.

Thank you!

4:18 AM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

The future of literature:

An interesting analogy presented by Finney on the “The Ringing Ear”. In 1990 I was in a car accident that caused tinnitis, ringing in the ear. Gradually the ringing increased until I can barely decipher external sounds in that ear. What I have noticed is that with the weakening of my hearing, I have become more intuitive, more feeling, more cautious in caring for myself and more sensing. In addition, my creative nature strengthened, birthing poetry and restoring my voice, both oral and written.

"The undeciphered mutterings of angels in my ear", that Finney speaks of, announce the advent of menopause, the change of life. The veil, like a curtain rising, opened the top third of my life force. The ringing, I can appreciate as a constant reminder that I yet have work to do as an Elder; that I have slept long enough; that I am still the 'big sister', the oldest daughter, fulfilling my role with a renewed sense of purpose.

Future of Literature, your scholastic sharing in bringing other voices to the circle, reminds me of Henrietta the Healer's post where she says, "...had no measuring tools, no guideposts, no one to turn to for solace". I too felt this absence. I am affirmed by the voices of my sisterly playmates that enter into this circle of life. The words of Albert Einstein inspire me to be happy and full of laughter in the moment irregardless of circumstances for the "distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."

Thank you for being among my sisterly playmates.

7:30 AM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

Valerie

Having shared your life story with some of us, I believe you have already had your rights of passage and living in the top third of your life already; and now having lots of fun! I will be an active participant very soon!

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I am back after getting my footing in Atlanta. As I move about I see so many suffering women. Now in the fall of the year is a wonderful gathering and sharing time. Who will offer their home as a refuge. I am in a new apartment with no furniture, but the floors are carpeted and we can bring pillows, hot cider and healthy snacks to begin the conversation of sharing and support. Perhaps the first week of December is good. Let me know...Henrietta the Healer 404-808-3937

1:37 PM  
Blogger "Adanna" Gloria said...

Greetings, dear Henrietta the Healer:
As I move about I attract many “seeking women”. I am attracted to these women and they are attracted to me. They are women who are very much aware of their inner guide, “the feathery voice”, calling them to shift in consciousness, breakthrough the habits of old patterns, and seek new terrains. A week ago Saturday, I went on a hiking trip, first time ever. There were about twenty of us hiking a 5 mile trail in the North Georgia Mountains. I was the only novice. What a growth experience that I will share in another writing. However once reaching the top of the trail, what a magnificent and glorious view awaited us, mountains in the far distance staring back at us. I could feel their power as if it was my own; and I couldn’t help but marvel at the sun having the privilege of shining on me in downtown Atlanta and yet harboring this awesome and empowering majesty of a series of peaks and valleys at the same time. The thought took me into deep feelings of sensing and intuiting and not only being in touch with nature, also being a participant in nature. We sat still on that elevated platform of mother earth, staring, meditating, and praying, with thought and without thought. Just allowing the moment to engage us, own us and empower us.

2:15 AM  

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